It really is crazy to me that this isn’t part of the formal diagnosis process. I can only imagine how much easier (and less traumatizing for us all) our journey would have been if we had this information so much earlier! I somehow came across the book low demand parenting a couple of years ago and it was a game changer. That and medication, and an amazing school that fits, and learning new skills for communicating better as a family. Thank you for sharing the emotion wheel, it is really helpful to see all of those strategies in one place. PS I just pre-ordered your book. Can’t wait to read it!
On this journey! Learning how to support my kids has been revelatory for me and continues to involve so much unlearning and divesting from norms that just don’t work for our bodies or align with our values. It feels powerful to better understand my family, even as incompatibility with mainstream systems becomes more apparent. Genuinely hopeful about forging a path that will allow us to thrive on our own terms by starting with safety and building at our own pace (which probably won’t make any sense to others and letting that be ok!). Thanks for sharing your experience!
Both my kids, 15 and 7, are PDA AuDHDers. They are also both home learners because the traditional school system cannot support them properly. We are entering a phase in which the 15yo is becoming more self-aware and has the ability to advocate for herself at various appointments. It’s so amazing to watch! At the same time, the 7yo is in a really tough multi year transition phase so lots of dysregulation. I have been listening to Robyn Gobbel’s podcast and finding lots of info and support.
I hear you, Brianna. The school setting is the hardest. I’m glad your oldest is thriving. It’s such a long game. Thanks for your podcast recommendation :)
This is very similar to my experience with my autistic daughter. I have believed for years that she has PDA. Sadly, though, with her aggression, I have not been able to get her to take medicine or go to school more than a few days here and there. These kids are so bright and have so much empathy.
I’m so sorry to hear that, Jennifer. I often feel lucky that mine is willing to take meds and attend school but I know that could change any day. I hope with some time and lower demands, things will improve.
Thank you. I am autistic as well, and a lot of trauma history. I think it just took me a long time to figure out what was going on for her, as well as dealing with my PTSD as a military vet, etc. But we are doing better, one step at a time! Plus, because I have always espoused holistic ways since way before she was born. I never stopped to think that one day it might inadvertently rub off on her, and I think this figures into her mistrust of meds. I haven't been able to undo that.
It really is crazy to me that this isn’t part of the formal diagnosis process. I can only imagine how much easier (and less traumatizing for us all) our journey would have been if we had this information so much earlier! I somehow came across the book low demand parenting a couple of years ago and it was a game changer. That and medication, and an amazing school that fits, and learning new skills for communicating better as a family. Thank you for sharing the emotion wheel, it is really helpful to see all of those strategies in one place. PS I just pre-ordered your book. Can’t wait to read it!
Happy it was helpful in some way 🤗
On this journey! Learning how to support my kids has been revelatory for me and continues to involve so much unlearning and divesting from norms that just don’t work for our bodies or align with our values. It feels powerful to better understand my family, even as incompatibility with mainstream systems becomes more apparent. Genuinely hopeful about forging a path that will allow us to thrive on our own terms by starting with safety and building at our own pace (which probably won’t make any sense to others and letting that be ok!). Thanks for sharing your experience!
It is harder to forge your own path, for sure. But worth it in the long run. Thanks for sharing, Taylor!
Love this. Especially 'Maybe a “good parent” is simply one who supports their kids in the way that they need supporting.'
and thank you so much for recommending my Substack!
🤓
Both my kids, 15 and 7, are PDA AuDHDers. They are also both home learners because the traditional school system cannot support them properly. We are entering a phase in which the 15yo is becoming more self-aware and has the ability to advocate for herself at various appointments. It’s so amazing to watch! At the same time, the 7yo is in a really tough multi year transition phase so lots of dysregulation. I have been listening to Robyn Gobbel’s podcast and finding lots of info and support.
I hear you, Brianna. The school setting is the hardest. I’m glad your oldest is thriving. It’s such a long game. Thanks for your podcast recommendation :)
This is really clarifying, Julie. Thank you. Sarah has AuDHD and it seems likely PDA, based on what I'm learning from your posts. Very helpful!
I’m glad to hear it was helpful, Jeannie!
Amazing stuff! Thank you so much for the mention as well! ♥️
You’re welcome - feel free to chime in with other resources or info :)
Absolutely! What a team!
This is very similar to my experience with my autistic daughter. I have believed for years that she has PDA. Sadly, though, with her aggression, I have not been able to get her to take medicine or go to school more than a few days here and there. These kids are so bright and have so much empathy.
I’m so sorry to hear that, Jennifer. I often feel lucky that mine is willing to take meds and attend school but I know that could change any day. I hope with some time and lower demands, things will improve.
Thank you. I am autistic as well, and a lot of trauma history. I think it just took me a long time to figure out what was going on for her, as well as dealing with my PTSD as a military vet, etc. But we are doing better, one step at a time! Plus, because I have always espoused holistic ways since way before she was born. I never stopped to think that one day it might inadvertently rub off on her, and I think this figures into her mistrust of meds. I haven't been able to undo that.
True. Some skepticism is good. Meds are not an easy answer, for sure. Aggression is so hard!